Whenever it gets under 50 degrees in Central California, we assume the world is freezing over. Whenever there is a thin layer of ice on our car windshield, we think we're in the movie The Day After Tomorrow. And whenever rainfall lasts longer than twelve hours, we break out the flood warnings. If a snowflake were ever to find its way here, people may just start evacuating the entire Central Valley.
As I sit here in my multiple layers of clothing, wrapped in a blanket, with my heater cranked to 76 degrees, I'm thinking about how eskimos ever existed. Maybe they still exist, I'm not sure. But one thing I do know is that they were fuckin' trippin'. The "mind over matter" was real. The ability to bare the elements and still be able to not only survive, but create a living for themselves, is unfathomable.
The real reason I bring this up is because I'm really just wondering what a real winter is like. Snowfall, zero degree weather, snow tires on my car, all things we will never experience here in the valley. What is it about being comfortable with where we're at keep us from moving away when we get older?
Is it because we don't want to be away from our family and friends that we grew up with? Is it because we're afraid we might fail in a new environment? Is it because we think life will be so drastically different that we won't be able to keep up?
Whatever it is for each individual who stays in the same general area that they were born and raised, it all comes down to one thing. Fear of change. It's the one thing that most of us have in common, the fear of what's on the other side of a new challenge.
Now there's nothing wrong with staying where you're from. You don't need to make a change that drastic to grow. But making one small change for the better everyday could eventually lead to a drastic change in your life. Today it may be deciding to drink one more glass of water a day and tomorrow it may be to read a chapter of a book everyday. And if you continue with your new changes, hopefully in a year or so you'd be drinking nothing but water, and you've had read multiple books and expanded your library.
Regardless of what changes you want to make in life, it all starts will small changes here and there. And once you get into the right state of mind where you are constantly seeking out change, you will eventually find yourself in the position you always imagined you would be. The weather may look bad today, but just look at your forecast and realize that clear skies are coming soon.
Unless of course, you love cold weather. In which case it's only going to get better... or worse? I don't know what you cold weather people like.
This was an ice cold banger...
1. a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.
This image is you looking at your past self, asking why you wasted all those hours living in complacency.
A feeling of quiet pleasure or security sounds like a good thing. Being in your own zone. You’re totally cool, calm, and collected. Yet in life, it can be a dangerous comfort zone.
Living in complacency never gets anyone anywhere. Staying in your comfort zone keeps you from taking chances, and reaching for those goals you’ve been setting for yourself. Unless your goal is to continue working the same job, or having the same boring life, or eating the same boring food, or whatever it is that keeps you telling yourself “Well, this is good enough for me.”
When you live in that state of mind, you are oblivious to the potential danger around you. The definition makes it seem as if the danger is yet to be seen. But it is clear that living this way is dangerous in and of itself. You spend hours complaining that you want your life to be better, yet you don’t put in any effort to actually move forward. You are perfectly fine with feeling sorry for yourself.
Your self-satisfaction with your current situation allows you to trick yourself into thinking you’re actually happy with where you’re at. When people follow up with you about the goals you set for yourself, you find yourself spilling out excuses for why you haven’t accomplished what you said you would. When in reality, you have made conscious choices to avoid your goals as much as possible because you have told yourself you can’t do it. Which in turn, actually makes you believe that you’re right.
A “condition” often is in reference to a state of one’s health. Being in a state of complacency is not a condition, it’s a choice. It is not a disease, a doctor can’t write you a prescription for it. And although it is not airborne, it is extremely contagious.
Look at who you are surrounding yourself with. The friends you have are all just as complacent as you are. They tell you that what you’re doing in life is fine. When you fail to reach your goals, they believe that all your excuses are valid. They too, are living in complacency. And it’s contagious.
You need to realize that you are in control of your own choices. And that you can stop living in complacency, and start living in a constant state of growth. All you have to do is make the decision to stop being comfortable.
Breaking out of your comfort zone is the healthiest choice you can make for yourself right now. And seeing how it’s the beginning of the new year, you might as well add it to your resolution for 2019.
If you have friends who are living in complacency, tell them. If you’re a real friend and you care about the growth of those close to you, tell them that they’re doing themselves a disservice by not reaching higher. Hold them to the standard that you should hold yourself too.
Let’s redefine what living in complacency means. Your comfort zone should be a dangerous one because of the chances you’ll take on yourself. You may sometimes run into failure, but that’s better than not trying to better yourself at all.
Welcome to 2019, where our resolution is one.
I've never really had an epiphany. But I have had plenty of little moments in my life where I've realized I need to make drastic changes in order to push myself to grow.
There are a lot of distractions that hold people back from pursuing whatever it is they're striving towards. Flaky friends, bad habits, junk food, television, listening to horrible music. All things that we cling on to that only make things harder on ourselves.
Not everyone is born with that constant desire to want more and be more. Some people need added motivation. Some people need tough life lessons. And some people need to hit absolute rock bottom before they turn their life around.
Regardless of what point you are in your journey right now, I promise you it's not too late. And I promise, you need it.
Take a second to think about everything that is weighing you down right now. It could be something as big as getting laid off. It could be credit card debt. Or it could something as small as your lawn not looking the way you know it should and you're terrified that your landlord is going to be pissed when they see it.
No matter what it is, it bothers us all the same. It sits in our brain like a hurricane, flooding all of our other thoughts. Drowning out all of the positive things in our lives.
In reality, we have a million more good things going for us than bad things. We are alive. We have food. You are probably reading this on a phone or a tablet or a laptop, something billions of people on this earth can't dream of owning.
Yet, we still go back to those negative thoughts. Telling ourselves we won't amount to anything. Asking ourselves how we are adults and we still don't own our own home. Somehow convincing ourselves that the life choices we have made are mistakes.
Everything that is happening in your life right now is by design. It was all meant to be. If you are hit with obstacles and challenges, it is because life is telling you that it's time to be tough and push through. If everything is great, then that means you need to take advantage of this time in your life.
Too often we look to the negative and use it as a reason as to why we aren't the best versions of ourselves. In our society, it is more popular to hate on what others are doing and doubt their decisions.
We need to take a look in the mirror and ask ourselves What am I doing to better myself and those around me? And I think yelling at others or just telling them to be better isn’t the way to get through to them.
The hardest part about helping others, is understanding what is going on in their life. They could be battling all kinds of negativity at home, at work, at school, or even within their own mind. It becomes difficult to have tough conversations with those around around you.
But as I have navigated through life, I have learned that spreading positivity is never a bad choice. Making yourself an example to others on how to treat yourself and the people around you is never a bad choice. Being nice is never a bad choice.
I know that I'm not always the nicest person. I have to constantly remind myself to treat others the way I wish to be treated. Being a positive influence on others can become uneasy when I look at myself and know that I'm not where I want to be in life. How could I possible influence others?
So I have a suggestion for all of you reading this. Do just one nice thing for someone else everyday. Whether its surprising your best friend with tickets to a concert, or just sending a "Hey, how are you doing?" text to someone you haven't talked to in a while.
The way I am going to be sharing positivity with others is by sending people postcards with an inspirational quote. Every person who shares this article will get a postcard. Just message or text me your address and wait for some positivity to come your way.
It's all about Positive Vibrations...
Here's the story about when my wife told me that she is pregnant with our second child...
Being able to raise our first born together has been incredible. My wife and I have grown so much as parents. We have learned from our child how to truly love life. Being a father has been the greatest era of my life, I cherish every moment with my son.
However, this is not to say that this shit isn't rough. Some days I find myself asking the question, "How the hell did my parents make it out alive with my ungrateful ass." Kids are the greatest, most terrifying, disgusting, beautiful, and foul creatures to ever walk the planet. They run shit, and I can't do shit about it.
My son is so damn cute, he gets whatever the hell he wants. He could literally fling a piece of his own crap on me, and an hour later he'd somehow convince me to give him a bite of my ice cream. I can't believe I love this kid.
I love being a father, but the thought of another child still scared me. Raising another human while still trying to raise another little human while growing together with my wife while continuing to grow as an individual while living in this world. It's some heavy shit to think about.
So when my wife told me that she was pregnant, my initial reaction wasn't quite the same as the first time. I have to be honest, I was terrified. I was trying to convince myself it wasn't true, knowing damn well I was well aware of the risk I took when we were, uh, ... making the child ... Sorry mom.
The next two days, I swear I didn't say a word to anybody. My coworkers would be talking to me and it felt like everything was silent. The only thing I could hear were my thoughts. They were loud af. Asking myself a million questions.
But they all ended with the same answer. The bottom line is that I wouldn't trade this life for anything. Reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. It scares me for all the right reasons.
Having another child means that I will grow more as a man. The experiences will push me towards something better for my family. It will continue to drive my inspiration to be better. And I know this, because it already has.
While I am still terrified, being able to look at all the blessings it will bring makes it pretty hard not to be excited. Bringing another life into this world is honorable to those who cherish it. Who know that they will truly do whatever it takes to give this child everything it needs to live an incredible life.
It's ok to be scared of change, as long as you are accepting of it. Life is going to continue to surprise you, you just have to continue to grow with it. Think about all of the things in your life to be grateful for, and know that this is all just a simulation.
Following my dreams has been rough. Always trying to push through even in the face of failure has been a challenge. Losing sleep over wondering whether or not I’m making the right decisions in my career. If what I’m doing is right for the future of my family. I’m officially 100 articles in and I hope I can inspire everyone who has read anything I’ve ever written.
Today is Mac Dre’s birthday, and it reminded me of the personality he shared with the world. He was driven. He was unique. He was an inspiration. He was himself. I was only 13 year’s old when he died, so I had no idea who he was until he passed. But his art lived on after his death, and for that I am thankful.
Dre was an artist who never gave in. We’re talking about a guy who made music for over a decade. He was popular enough to become a local legend, and his sudden death sent shockwaves through the Bay Area and the music industry.
I couldn’t fully understand his stature until I got into my early 20's when I really began listening to things he was saying. He always remained true to himself, even if it meant he wasn’t going to make the most popular music. And today, on his birthday, I see his message clearer than ever.
He sent a message in his music that encouraged people to be themselves. Being “real” isn’t about how many times you’ve been locked up or who you’ve robbed or how many drugs you’ve sold. It’s about doing what you gotta do to be a better person for yourself, your loved ones, and your community.
I realized recently that I may have been chasing my dreams for the money, which isn’t a dream at all, its a fantasy. Being able to chase my true dreams is the dream itself. And as Mac Dre chased his dreams to his final breath, I want to do the same.
On my 100th article, I just want to thank you for all of your support. There have been plenty of times where I wouldn't post for a few weeks and someone would tell me "Hey, I haven't seen you post anything in a while." I'm always shocked when people say that because I just can't believe that people actually care to hear what I have to say. And then I'll look at the numbers at the end of a 4 article week and I'll have over 1,000 page views. And it's all because of your guys support, and for that I am extremely grateful.
Here’s to another 100 articles...
Don't Stop. Won't Stop. Wont Quit...
It’s 11:30 pm and I’m just getting home from work. My wife and son are on the couch watching Forensic Files and he is dancing to the intro music. He has a bad habit of staying awake until I get home, regardless of what time I’m off. But I don’t complain because seeing him run up to me and shout “Daddy! Daddy!” is one of the best feelings in the world. My life isn’t perfect, but there are so many little things about it that are.
Whenever I run into friends or people I’ve worked with or family I don’t see that often, they all tell me or my wife “You guys are goals.” “You have such a perfect little family.” “I want what you guys have.” I get these a lot, and I know my wife does too. It’s a beautiful thing to have people look at us and see the love. People think it has all just happened by design, and that this comes easy to us. But I can honestly say that maintaining a positive mindset and attitude towards life is one of life’s toughest challenges. Finding the perfections in all of our imperfections is a constant battle.
I constantly think to myself about what I want in my future. A good job, a nice house, to be financially and emotionally stable. And I know that all these things will come in time, but I still find myself fighting within myself trying to figure out what the next steps are. I’m not where I want to be in life right now, but I know I’m blessed because I have a roof over my head, I have food on the table for my family, and I have family and friends who love me and care about my well-being. I’m blessed.
But I still see the world and the people in it struggling with the same things. We feel like we need more to be happier. We feel like if we don’t achieve some financial status or if we don’t have a nice house or a nice car or whatever it may be, that we are failing. The difference that separates the happiest people in the world from those who struggle within their own mind is the mindset itself. If we can break that mental block that is holding us back from thinking that we aren’t happy with where we are in life, then we can achieve that happiness we constantly strive for. For so long we have worked on pursuing happiness, when the whole time we have been living it. We just need to open our minds.
I made an attempt to reach out to old friends the other day just to see how they were doing, and the response was overwhelming. Everyone I text actually sent me a text back and cared to see how I was doing. It felt good. And it made me realize something, my little family really is goals. The love my wife and I share not only makes an impact on our son, but it makes an impact on us. We don’t have everything figured out. We aren’t where we want to be financially. We don’t have the dream jobs we want yet. But you know what, that’s all a part of the process. And Joel Embiid told me to Trust The Process.
My best friend once said “The journey is the dream.” Money, friends, and peoples opinions of you come and go, but your happiness is limitless. How happy do you want to be? Who is important to you? What drives you to keep moving forward? Next time you feel like you’re not where you want to be in life, ask yourself these questions and do what you must do to make your happiness the most important thing in life. Don’t be jealous of what others have, be happy with what you have. Our society has learned how to hate, and it has never been taught how to love, so love more. We are on this earth for 100 years maximum if we’re lucky, don’t spend it worrying about your status to the outside world. That’s my love rant for the week. And if nobody has told you today; I love you.
It's 9 pm on a Saturday night. There's a crapload of clean laundry that is just waiting to be folded. The kitchen is clean and smells like Fabuloso. There's three candles burning in separate rooms in the house because one of our cats decided to poop on the carpet right next to the litter box, her way of saying that she is the boss and she can do this shit whenever she feel like it and there is not much we can do about it. After spending all day cleaning the house, doing yard work, and hanging out with some family and friends, we're really just trying to chill on the couch and not do shit. My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching Forensic Files while my son is playing with a receipt that he found on the ground in the middle of his 1,000 toys that he'd rather not play with. This is a glimpse of the married life.
This isn't exactly how I envisioned my Saturday nights at the age 26 would be. But in an incredible way, I know this is the ONLY place I want to be on this particular night. My mind doesn't have much on it besides wondering why this guy in Omaha, Nebraska decided to randomly go into this old lady's house and murder her in cold blood, and then be stupid enough to have himself a glass of soda and leave the evidence. Now I'm not saying that I wish the guy would've been smarter about how he went about things, I'm just saying that if you're going to be a criminal and a murderer, don't be stupid enough to leave the evidence. But anyway, I know that the only person who could really understand where I'm coming from on that topic is my wife.
There is this indescribable wavelength that my wife and I are on together pretty much all of the time. I mean of course we have our differences, but at the end of the day it always seems as if we know what each other really wants to be doing. For example, (and I'm sorry to any family who is reading this but I gotta be honest about this shit and open because it's fucking hilarious and also awesome) that same night we found some time to have sex when our son finally fell asleep after what had felt like Mission Impossible 3 to get him to go down. After we both had cleaned ourselves up and got ready for bed, I asked her "You know what I need right now?" and she instantly grew a huge smile on her face and said, "McDonalds?!" and you bet your ass that is exactly what the fuck I needed right then.
Now this may not sound like what most people would consider a sign of love or togetherness or whatever you want to call it. But it is exactly what WE describe as being on this weird level that only each other can understand fully. Love is whatever you want it to be. It's not a race, a battle, or an achievement. It's like... how do I put this in words... It's like when you were in high school and you asked someone for a piece of gum, and the other person would be chewing a piece right in front of your face and be like "Awe sorry man, this is my last piece." knowing damn well they have a whole pack in their backpack. You need to find that person that you are not only willing to share your gum with, but you will go to Costco and buy them the year's supply of Extra gum and tell her that "The name of the brand is how you been acting, but idgaf I still love you so take this for your stanky ass breath."
I could go on forever about weird shit in my relationship that gets me hyped. Like when she gets mad at me for leaving my dirty clothes on the floor. Or when she asks me a million times "What's wrong?" just to irritate me because she knows its annoying. Or when she is like "HAAA Lebron lost the Finals again! Are you gonna cry? You're mad huh? You're hella mad huh?" and I have to tell her that we're Sixers fans, and we only cry when the lottery ping pong balls don't bounce our way. These all may sound like annoyances to you, but they're the little things that remind me that she will always be there no matter what. And although she is very annoying, I wouldn't trade what we have for anything in the world. So I encourage you to find that happiness you're looking for. Because at the end of this life we need to look back on all the right decisions we made, and know that we had someone there for us for all the wrong decisions we made.
So you might have read one of my previous blogs that was about me graduating in Arizona and had the video that I recorded of the trip. But even cooler than that, Starbucks picked me as someone they wanted to follow and record on my road trip for my graduation. I got to meet an amazing film crew who has been there for me in more ways than one, and I thank them for this great opportunity. I'm super excited to share this video with you guys because it not only represents my journey, but it represents all of the people who have been here for me through the years. I love everyone who is reading this, and please feel free to share this with everyone.
I want to take this time to give you guys a quick tour through the journey of my life. My beautiful mother had me when she was 15 years old. She was my mother and my father. I knew my dad, but he was 16 when he had me, and I realized not too long ago that he never quite grew up after having me. I took lessons from family, friends, athletes, teachers, coaches, and even strangers who all gave me advice on this thing called life. Not having a dad to go to and talk about life with only made me have stronger relationships with people who I looked to as father figures. I developed this kind of personality that allowed me to inherit different traits from people who weren't my dad, and as I've gotten older I've found a way to weed out the bad habits (and people) that have slowed me down in life.
I wanted to share a specific moment in my life that changed me, and something that has stuck with me since it happened. I remember telling my dad that I wanted to go to college and graduate so that I can have a career in sports media. I can always remember it so vividly. My dad turned to me and said "That's stupid. You should become a teacher or something better than that." My dream as a kid was always to become a professional athlete, but I'm 5'6" 120 pounds, I'd be lucky to be a professional Ping Pong player. But my passion for sports ran deep, so I always knew what I wanted to be in life. Mind you, my dad never graduated college and never really accomplished anything in life besides having me, and yet he still could never accept me for who I was. I remember thinking to myself like How can I get my dad to approve of me? How can I show him that I will be successful? How can I make him accept me for who I am? But recently I realized that He was the one losing out on our relationship, not me. My father not believing in me only made me stronger, made me hungrier to achieve my dreams even faster.
I had a lot of obstacles in life that I could have easily used as excuses as to why I wouldn't be successful. I was the child of a single teenage parent. I didn't have the father that I always wanted. My family wasn't always financially or emotionally stable. I once drove a Geo Metro for a solid year or two. But everyone goes through some type of adversity in life, and that can't be what you let define you. You create your own story. You knock down those obstacles and you create your own future. People always ask me how I have become such a positive person. I know that life isn't always going to be cotton candy and rainbows, but to strive for a life that great is something that has driven me throughout these last few years. I look back on everything I've been through and I realize that it's not that bad at all. Don't let anybody let you think you aren't good enough, or that you are incapable of making a difference in this world. My own father didn't believe in my dream, and in the end it was a blessing in disguise.
I'm usually not the one to spill my feelings out to the world, but I realize that my story can make a difference. If I can just make an impact on one person's life while I'm here on this earth, I'd feel like I made a difference. Everybody has a story, and some have similar stories or at least understand what adversity feels like. So to everyone out there who has been through some tough shit, keep your head up. They want you to give up, don't let them win.
Check out this video of my friends, family, and me on our road trip to Arizona for my graduation.
Welcome all! Friends, family, and internet. My name is Anthony Vallesteros and this is my official blog page. Follow me on my journey to my dreams. I'm calling this The IrrelAVant Blog for a few reasons. For those who have known me on social media in the past, you will know why the word irrelevant is spelled wrong. I have always felt like every one person in this world is so small in comparison to the grand scheme of things. So even if we're the greatest person to ever exist, we are still irrelevant to billions of people on this earth. And everything that we care about is not always relevant to everyone else in this world. So this blog, while it may be important to me and the people reading, it is all a bunch of irrelevance. And while this blog may not be what you're used to, I guarantee it will always be interesting. So welcome to the inside of my mind, and help me get my visions out to the world.
Just a man trying to make the most of his time on this planet.